A letter to my younger self

I was doing a talk recently, sharing my stroke story. I also shared how I made changes to my life especially with food and exercise. During the question and answer session, a young manager asked me a question which stumped me.

Question: “Knowing what you know now, what advice would you give to your younger self?”

Answer: That is a very profound question and I am not sure how to answer it. I’m going to try.

I would share the same story and strategies as I just did. There’s no short cut, just consistent regular work.

The problem I think is that my younger self would have pooh pooh-ed the advice. My younger self was stubborn and arrogant and didn’t think anyone knew any better than me. I was a know it all who didn’t think much of other people’s experiences.

It took a while for me to develop high blood pressure. It didn’t happen overnight. The weight was put on over time. The stress increased with each deal that needed to be done. The anxiety of wondering if I was a good mother or a horrible mother. The frustration of not being great at everything and only being ok at everything was demoralizing. I finally chose work. I can be successful at it. There’s financial rewards when I succeed there. With those rewards I can provide my family with the things I didn’t have while I was growing up. Work is what I will be great at.

I didn’t have time to listen to someone talk about their stroke and how they made changes to their life.

Yet…I was a really good salesperson and possibly still am. I would have to find a time to sit with the younger me and say “hey, I know you are really busy, but I think I can help you be happier”.

I would hope then that the younger me would give me some time. I most likely would invite younger me for a walk. We would talk during the walk.

I know you have a lot on your plate and at times feel like you are burning the candle from both ends. I want to encourage you to look at your life and see where you can fit some time into your day where you can walk for 30 minutes.

You see, when you walk, you have time to think. You can sort out and prioritize your day during the walk. Walking is the easiest thing to do to exercise. No need for expensive fancy gyms with machines you don’t know how to use. Walking is simple.

The amazing thing is, once you get into the habit of walking, your body will feel better. It’s a great way to decompress. Your energy level will increase and you will be able to keep up with your children. You may not believe me, but if you keep walking, you may even start to run. But, one step at a time.

When will you ever find the time to walk? That is difficult I know. If you look at your day, when can you fit it in? You have been trying to add activity so kudos. Parking your car further away from the office so you have to walk an extra 5 minutes is helpful. Ideally we want to walk continuously for 30 minutes. That way, your heart is getting the exercise it needs to stay in shape.

Talking to younger me, I cannot use the “your life depends on it” approach. She would be extra skeptical. I focus on the positive possibilities.

The exercise for the heart is also beneficial for your mind. When you body gets the exercise, it produces endorphins which is a natural feel good drug. Maybe invest in an elliptical machine so you don’t have to go to a gym. The machine is there to use when you need it. After a stressful day at work, sometimes just getting on the elliptical and working up a sweat releases the tensions from the day.

You will sleep better. Your body will be physically tired out. Instead of tossing and turning you would simply be able to drift off and rest well.

Starting to walk for 30 minutes a day will mean you need to think about snacks because you may think “I walked, which is exercise, therefore I can have potato chips as a reward”. There’s good snacks and bad snacks. You know better. You know what is healthy and what is not. You aren’t an ignorant twat.

Yet, it’s the discipline involved. It’s really hard to avoid stuffing M&M’s in your face. The simple approach is to have no temptation in your pantry. Learn to like fruit for dessert if you have to have something sweet. In the long run, you will find the combination of exercise and heart healthy food choices will make a difference to your body.

It’s great to be a super salesperson. Wouldn’t it be great to be the super healthy one too?

Younger me wouldn’t be silent all this time. She would have excuses and protest about a lack of time. She will probably politely say “Thanks but no thanks”.

Knowing what I know now, I would share as much as I can. The question is whether the person would listen and take action. I know the younger me was aware of the increase in weight because she tried assorted diets to no avail. I think if younger me had a ghost of the future visit…she still would not have taken any active steps to change.

My husband frequently comments that I didn’t listen to him, but a higher power smacked me upside the head with a stroke to get my attention. I guess my message to younger me is to realize that there really is wisdom with age. To all the “younger me” types out there, take care of your one and only heart.